Numbers Hunt
by sousagal91
Summary: In retaliation for JD's one-month note, Perry decides to get back at him for their 6-month...in a uniquely Perry way.


I walk in the door of our apartment after a long day at work. And I have to admit, I'm in a bit of a bad mood at the moment. Although it should be an exciting day—this just happens to be mine and Perry's 6 month anniversary. Believe me, no one thought we'd make it this far. I think half of the hospital had bets going, too. There were a few times when it seemed like we might be close to breaking up, and I swear everyone else was whispering. Todd did let slip in the locker room that there was a pool going for how long our relationship would last. He'd lost, because he bet on 2 days. Something about how no one could hold on to my hot little ass that long…I got out of there pretty quickly after that comment.

None of my peeps took part, of course. Well, I can't say that. I did get pretty pissed off for a minute when I heard that Turk was in on the betting. But then I heard that his bet was that we'd last 20 years…I'll take that as a nice endorsement of our relationship.

But anyway, although Perry and I had a few memorable moments at work, it really wasn't anything out of the ordinary. A few quick make-out sessions, a sweet touch here and there. But he never said a word about what today was. I was hoping he'd do something special—after I left a handwritten, touchingly beautiful note for our one month anniversary, he threatened to get back at me. And it was reasonable to assume that 6 months would be significant enough for Perry Cox. Sadly, his shift today goes an hour longer than mine, so I even had to leave before him. Although I did get a sweet kiss goodbye, it still wasn't anything out of the ordinary. But really, what could I honestly have expected from him? Despite my best efforts, he will remain a bit of an insensitive bastard. But don't think that's me giving up on him—for one, he's _my_ insensitive bastard, and second, I know I can eventually bring him around to his emotional side.

As I hang my coat up on the hook, I see a note. Ooh, and there's a lollipop attached! The note reads:

_One lollipop for the one amazing boyfriend that I have._

Wow. I guess I have to say that I'm a bit taken aback, and guilty for what I was thinking about him. He's not quite off the hook, though. I'm still hoping there will be something special once he gets home.

I shove the lollipop into my mouth, and flop down on the couch to watch some TV. As I pick up the remote, I notice another note taped to the back. When did Perry get into scavenger hunts? I'm not complaining, of course, because I've always loved them. This one reads:

_Look under the far left couch cushion…_

I lift up the cushion, and I see another note attached to…two bottles of my favorite totally-manly hair gel! I look at the new note.

_Two bottles of your gooey, girly stuff because I know how quickly you go through this crap…and really, I'm starting to like the smell._

Wait. One sucker…two bottles. This seems to be following a pattern, here. Did Perry really take inspiration from my note back then? Now I'm getting excited to find the rest. Hold on a second. The first two were hidden in, naturally, the first two places I'd go after coming in the door. I'm touched that he knows my routine that well. So after I watch some TV, what would I do next? That's right, food!

I quickly run to the fridge and open the door. My eyes quickly scan the shelves for anything that looks out of order. Nothing! I even lift up each bottle and package, looking at the bottom of every single one. And then I do the same in the freezer, but still no results.

"Well, duh" I can't help but mutter to myself. "He knows ice cream is a bedtime snack, not a getting-home-from-work snack."

Snack…then it hits me. The cupboard! My new favorite afternoon snack is graham crackers. I tear open the cupboard and pick up the box. Yay, a note!

_How long did it take you to find this one? Getting a bit excited, Emily, now that you've figured out this game? Look behind this box._

When I do, I wonder why it didn't catch my eye before. Lined up neatly behind my graham cracker box are three stuffed unicorns! And the first one has yet another note around its neck.

_Ok, so I did feel bad for making you get rid of that ridiculous journal. I'll make this clear right away, though. These are __**not**__living in our bed, got it?_

I have to admit, this present made me squeal with joy just a little. In a totally manly way, though. I pick up the unicorns and hug them to my chest before bringing them to the bedroom. He won't actually get rid of them right away, so they can hide here for a little while. But as I fold back the covers, I see a note. Damn, I'm caught.

_You're putting the unicorns in the bed, aren't you?_

"No!" I answer, and pick them up again, before realizing he can't actually see me. I then look at the rest of the note.

_I knew it. We'll discuss that later. Anyway, look underneath the bed._

As I do, I start to feel like a little kid. Not just because of the lollipop and stuffed animals, but because I'm obviously recognizing the consecutive numbers here. That means I get four of something! Perry is like my own personal Santa that I get to have sex with…wait, that's a disturbing analogy.

Ooh, it's four chocolate bars! Another squeal of delight escapes me, and I quickly shove them in the pockets of my sweatshirt before they disappear or something. Oh, right, there's probably a note. It got a bit crumpled in my excitement, though.

_Yes, more candy. It's because…well, you're sweet. Almost to a sickening degree sometimes, but you know I like it._

Wow, this is fun! But now I have to pee. I head to the bathroom and do my business. As I wash my hands, I see a note taped to the mirror. Wait…there's no way my routine is this consistent, right?

_Yes, Newbie, you do always use the bathroom about 45 minutes after getting home. And I'm almost ashamed to admit that I know that. Open the medicine cabinet._

I do, my excitement mounting with every second. Lined up on the shelf are five combs, in five different colors! And each is personalized with the weekdays! I quickly find the accurate comb, labeled "Wednesday". And of course, another note can be found underneath.

_You just had to use the right one, didn't you? I knew you'd appreciate yet another complication to add to your beauty routine. And no, I'm not calling you beautiful. I'd go more for sexy._

Honestly, I'd never before considered combs for each day of the week. And yet now that I have a set, I can't understand why I never had them before. It just seems so…well, me. The problem is, I'm now at a loss. Thinking this much about my routine has thrown me off, and I no longer know what I do next…carrying all the notes, I return to the couch.

After a few more minutes of watching TV, I look back at the notes to see the cute sentiments. And as I look at the last one, I notice that there's something written on the back.

_You're confused, aren't you? Probably reading or watching TV again. So I guess as another present, I'll just tell you the last one. Look on the back of the door—there's a bag hanging there that I bet you've been too oblivious to notice._

Of course he's right. This fun scavenger hunt had me completely focused on…well, me. It's even a sparkly gold bag! I run to the door and take it down. On the front is another note.

_Well, there's really no instruction I can give you for this one, since I hope you know how to open a bag by now. I actually only put this note here to waste just about the right amount of time before you actually open the damn thing. So go ahead and do it already._

I'm a bit confused. I assume there's going to be six of something, but what could fit inside the bag? Plus, I don't know what else this could be—he's already given me candy, unicorns, and hair supplies. What else defines JD? So I open the bag.

Inside are 6 condoms. As I stare, blushing a little bit, Perry opens the door, almost knocking me over. He immediately grabs my waist.

"Well, Newbie" he says, "I think you know what we're going to do with those. Happy 6 months. Now get to the bedroom, take off those clothes, remove your new pets from the bed, and let's celebrate **my** way."


End file.
